Going to bed on time has been a lifelong challenge for me. And living in Alaska with the extreme swings in daylight doesn't make it any easier. It's taken me a long time to even want to have a bedtime, and then actually re-parent myself into the habits to create a bedtime routine.
The benefits have been life-changing. But keeping any routine is hard, so I have tried to automate as much of the process as I can. That way I can lean on the structure and supports and not depend on my will power.
This has evolved slowly over the last year. In the beginning I was just trying to be asleep by 2:00AM. It's still a work in progress.It's worth noting that I only adjust and make changes to my habits a little bit at a time. No grand sweeping gestures, no all-or-nothing wagon to fall off of, just a little better every night.
This is my most recent update (1/5/2025).
6:30 pm (phone alarm labeled - Melatonin & Dim Lights 🥱)
Dim lights in house (this was manual in the beginning)
Take a low dose melatonin (not medical advice, ask your doctor)
Brush my teeth, do my skincare, etc. (I do this early because the later it gets the less energy I have and the longer it takes me.)
I try to physically chill out. I don't do vigorous exercise after 6:30pm and I try not to get hyped up
8:00 pm (phone alarm labeled - Wrap Up the Day ♻️)
Wrap up the day
This is the last 30 minutes of the day I have to do just "one more thing, read that one article, flip the laundry, wash a dish, or go down a rabbit hole before I go to bed. (This step is so important. When I added this step, I stopped doing that "one more thing" when I was supposed to be going to sleep. I'm always going to have things to wrap up, so I built it in.)
Stop watching any videos. (I'm looking at you Tiktok). Only silent reading on dimmest setting from here on out.
In the winter, go turn on my mattress pad warmer so bed is the coziest place I can be.
8:30 pm (phone alarm labeled - Go to Bed 🛌)
Go to bed (not "generally head to bed" but close my laptop, walk to my bedroom and get in bed.)
Alexa sleep playlist automatically plays sleepy music
Lights automatically turn off in the house
Sunrise/Sunset alarm clock turns on dim in bedroom
I've programed my phone to be uninteresting and super frustrating to use after 8:30pm.
For Apple iPhones:
Settings: Screen time > Downtime > Scheduled toggled on > Everyday > Time 8:30PM-5:00AM > Block at Downtime turned on. Mine is set to require a passcode to override downtime. If I override, I only do so for 15 minutes at a time.
Focus: Sleep Focus > Customize Screens > I set home and lock screens to a dark moon > Schedule 8:30PM-5:00AM
Display & Brightness: Night Shift = 8:30PM-5:00AM
Robot vacuum starts making it unpleasant to be anywhere but my bedroom
9:00 pm
Asleep.
Overall Takeaways
Make bedroom inviting and chill.
Make being anywhere else but your bedroom super annoying or unpleasant.
Make phone frustrating to use.
The more things you can automate, the better. My goal is to have my house put me to bed. 😍
Think about tomorrow morning you. Morning you will really appreciate the fact that you went to sleep on time. This helps disrupt any temporal disconnect.
I still have a life and I still go out, see my friends, etc. On those nights I don't do this whole routine. It's shorter, I do my best, and I pick it back up the next night. This keeps me from getting too rigid and restrictive.
This isn't meant as a schedule for you to follow exactly, it's what works for me in this season of my life. But I hope it gives you some ideas and inspiration about how you can automate your own bedtime.
My areas for growth:
I still read on my phone when I'm in bed sometimes. I know the research, I'm just not there yet. I do find reading research articles puts me to sleep like Pavlov's dog.
I don't always do my skincare routine (like almost never), but I can only build so many habits at one time.
I still rebel against the routine some nights. But it never gives me the outcome I think I'm going to get (freedom) and it's not really worth it, so it's happening less and less over time.
P.S. I did not have automatic dimmers or am Alexa-style house management system when I started this. I just kept looking for alarms I could set, schedules I could program, etc. I was determined to try to use what I had.
My "rewards" for getting better at going to bed, are automatic light switches, plugs, and outlets. I buy them one at a time as a prize. This reward works well because it reinforces the habit and makes it easier and easier.
I hope this inspires you to make some part of your life easier. If you want to join a group of us working on building habits to make our goals and dreams come true, you can join us here: www.shannonlpost.com/journey
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