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Indie Inclinations with Shari Berman - Transcript
[00:00:00] I recently spoke to career coach Shannon Post about finding your own way to get to what you specifically want in life. And before I play that interview segment, here's about a two minute piece about Shannon and what she's accomplished in her life. Also, I will tell you that at the end of this interview segment, you can get to bonus material with Shannon Post where she talks about her move to Alaska.
[00:00:37] So definitely stick around and look for that link. Want to introduce you to Shannon Post. Here's a quote from her website. Finding the work you love is an act of rebellion that will change the world. Now, I've known Shannon a long time, so I can tell you she truly believes this. I knew Shannon when she first She first moved to New York City because she wanted to fulfill her [00:01:00] dream of being a classical singer, which she achieved.
[00:01:03] And then she decided she wanted to fulfill another dream, mushing dogs. I'm not joking. She just turned to me one day and said, I'm moving out of New York City. I'm going to Alaska. And I was like, what? She goes, yeah, I want to mush dogs. And I'm like, what? She goes, I'm moving where it's nice and cold. So she left and moved to Alaska and she mushed dogs for a prominent Iditarod racer.
[00:01:25] Then she later went into corporate America. and became a CIO, a prominent executive in IT, and now she runs her own business out of Alaska as a career coach. Her current dream that she fulfills every single day is helping people at all points in their careers achieve their dreams. So why am I bringing a classical singer, Dov Musher, CIO career coach on this show?
[00:01:49] It's a good question, but it's simple. She understands all the obstacles you face when you pursue what you want. It's not easy to get to do the things you love, but you can get there [00:02:00] and she knows that it's hard to do it on your own and she understands how skills translate across different pursuits. So I thought it would be great to bring her on and show you, yeah, there's no magic wands and fairy tales and easy, woo, I just want to do it so it happens path, but there are ways to move yourself forward every single day and get to what you want.
[00:02:21] She's done it over and over again. So I look forward to meeting her. Shannon, welcome to the show. Thanks for coming on. I know you've, yeah, I know you're crazy busy and um, I appreciate you taking the time to talk to people. Uh, Shannon is not a filmmaker. Oh my god, we have a non filmmaker on. But she But she looks great on camera, so hey.
[00:02:48] So, Shannon's on because she's a career coach, and Shannon, I wanted to ask you because you are a master at finding your own way. You've changed your career many times, as we've seen in the [00:03:00] video before, and I was just wondering if you could offer some tips or thoughts about it, whatever comes to mind.
[00:03:06] Sure. I would say the first thing that I can give as advice for people is when you're, um, trying to find your career path, and I have, I've, um, I've reinvented it many, many times, trying to figure it out. And, um, Really be careful whose advice you're listening to. It really matters who you are and not what is hot in the industry, not what people think you should do, not what your parents think you should be doing.
[00:03:36] It's really a self discovery journey of who you are and what you want. Um, so I'll, we have so much advice these days that. That's the first thing that I would tell people is really hone your filter down for what you're looking for and really see if you can cut out a lot of that noise of what you quote unquote should be doing versus what you want to be doing.
[00:03:58] So that's great. So [00:04:00] then I guess my follow up to that though would be how, what are some tools? a person could use to filter all that out, because I know for me, sometimes people give me advice and then it gets in my head and I'm like, are they thinking that? Am I thinking that? Where am I getting that from?
[00:04:16] Like, how do you just take a step back and kind of break it all down for yourself? In general, unless you know that person really well and you know for sure Even when you know for sure that they have your best interest at heart, realize that most people are giving advice that they need to take. It's usually not advice for you, it's usually advice for them.
[00:04:39] Or it reflects, um, their past history, things they need to work through. So, for an example, people will say, oh, you know, you can't make money doing that, or you You know, you can't do what you love, like you have to go to work and do what you love later. Sometimes, um, that's not, not true, but often it's just a reflection [00:05:00] of their past experience, um, and even if it's well meaning advice.
[00:05:05] I would always point somebody inward, even if it's getting in your head as best you can. Um, you have to figure out what you want and it's really hard these days because we have so much noise. Um, with all of our access to media and everything, but just realize that most people's advice is either advice they were given.
[00:05:27] That's often bad advice or it's advice they need to take. It's not for you. Not for me. Awesome. One less thing in my mind. Yep. It's kind of like, oh, that's fascinating about you. That's good to know. Good to know. Yeah, it is hard. You really have to figure it out for yourself. You know, you can have people around you, right, to support you, but it is figuring out for yourself.
[00:05:55] And I know we won't get into this here because I'm going to post a link, but I know you [00:06:00] have some great tools for that. Now, once a person figures out what they want to do, there is that sort of balance. Like, for example, you know, if you're frustrated in your day job and you just want to quit because you want to be a jewelry designer.
[00:06:14] Right? But you, you are barely starting out. You have to pay for your supplies. Do you just quit your chump? Cause I know what I want to do now. It depends on who you are and what your background is and how much money you have. That's a very, almost everything I'm going to say is. It's, it depends because it does, um, and I would be hypocritical and you know this if I said, uh, you shouldn't just up and move because I just up and moved from New York to Alaska.
[00:06:45] Um, there was some planning there. I don't think anybody saw it. Um, there could have been more planning, but it depends. Do you have a huge trust fund? Go for it. If you don't, I'm not one of those people, so [00:07:00] I really have to make sure I have my bills paid. I don't have anybody to fall back on. So, there are ways to do, to meet in the middle ground.
[00:07:09] What I often tell people is start looking for the signs that you're unhappy at work. Like you're complaining, you're throwing your boss under the bus, even if they deserve it. Um, the, the, if you think something's off in your job, It is. Like, just trust yourself in that and start making an exit plan now.
[00:07:30] It's never too early to start making an exit plan from one job to another. It gives you more buffer so that that one time your boss comes in and says, Hey, I don't like this thing you did. You don't just slam the door and burn the place down. and ruin your reputation and ruin all your connections and ruin your network.
[00:07:48] You really want to start paying attention and trusting what you feel inside. Um, don't, don't think it's just going to get better all by itself. It, it will not. [00:08:00] Jobs don't magically heal themselves, um, the way that other things do, but, um, I would say starting that middle ground so you can start the transition, because starting a business takes a long time, um, it takes capital, it takes a lot of personal resources, and there is a period of time where most people have to bridge both.
[00:08:20] So that's great, and I, I feel that way too, especially for artists. Of any kind, certainly for filmmakers, unless of course you do have a trust fund or a spouse that's supporting you or some other means of money where you don't have to work and good for you, yay. But uh, that's awesome. Yeah, it is. But if you don't, you do have to figure out a way to balance it, and I think.
[00:08:40] A lot of times, I know I've felt this way and I know other people do, you feel like a failure because you're not earning money or living as an artist, but if you're actually doing your art, and you're paying your bills somehow, and it's not killing you, I think you're quite a success because you are doing it and you're making [00:09:00] strides forward and it's a question of when you can make a bigger jump.
[00:09:05] Yeah, I think there's so much bad advice and, um, quippy things that you'll hear on the internet. One of my least, there's two that I hate most is one from the artist side that says like if you're Um, that you're selling out. Like if you have a bank job or you're waitressing, you've sold out. You're not a real artist.
[00:09:23] I heard that all the time in my twenties. And I was like, I don't know. I like to eat. Um, I didn't really take that advice to heart, but on the other side, on the business side, you'll hear you're not making a profit. You're not a business. It's a hobby. And. If you look at some of the large businesses, um, they haven't made a profit in a long time.
[00:09:44] Um, so the profitability is not always a marker of success, especially personally. Um, are you happy? Are you, do you feel Like you're not burning out because having a corporate [00:10:00] job and running a side hustle. And if you have a family and if you have a pet, and if you have all these other things, you're really looking for sustainability and just working a job that you hate, that doesn't allow you to do your art is not sustainable.
[00:10:14] Only doing your art and not being able to pay your bills is not sustainable. Doing all the things and running your personal energy down is not sustainable. So it's finding that middle ground, um, that is not a cut and dry. There is not a like five step way to do this. And if it was, we'd all be doing it.
[00:10:34] If it, if it was easy. We wouldn't be talking about this. If I had a genie in a bottle, I would say, my wish is that you come up with a five step miracle for me in my life, right? Yeah. And we buy the miracles over and over and over because they're so seductive, but it just doesn't happen that way. One of the things that kind of segues into, right, is do you conform, right?
[00:10:59] Because there's a [00:11:00] lot of pressure. It's, I can say as a filmmaker, there's pressure, just talking to another wonderful filmmaker who's actually directing television now after like 30 years of pursuing her dreams. I love that. It's amazing and it's good for her and I wish she had it sooner, but It is what it is.
[00:11:17] It's an achievement and but we were talking about all the things along the way that filmmakers are told to well, you know, you have to get into Sundance or you have to play this or if you don't do that, you're not successful. And in order to get in, this is what these 10 people did. So you do what they do and you're not I have to say I've tried to do that, maybe only for five minutes, because you know me, it's like, uh, I don't want to, I just, I'm not going to do it.
[00:11:41] I'm sorry. But, you know, I've seen other people really, really try and force themselves. And I was just wondering if you could talk about that, because a lot of what you're saying is, it's very individual, right? It is. And I will say that that advice is true in every industry I've [00:12:00] been in. So I've been in the arts industry.
[00:12:03] Um, I've been in, um, tourism industry. I've been in the tech industry. I was an executive. It is. You hear it over and over and like, you must follow these three rules to be successful. You must behave like this. Um, and some, the answer is sometimes it depends. It depends. Does it go against your values? That's a huge one.
[00:12:27] That's not sustainable. You cannot override your values for very long without it eating away at your soul. Um, what's the benefit? Like, what's the payoff? If I wear a suit jacket to work, because that's the standard, is it going to rip my soul out? Or is it like, that gives me a little credibility. It's pretty easy and cheap.
[00:12:47] I'll just do that. Versus, um, And I guess the third is, is that really who you are? Can you sustain that? So if [00:13:00] this very regimented, you must become somebody you are not, um, goes against who you are as a person, you're not going to be able to sustain, sustain it and you will burn out. And you'll think you hate your art and you don't, you hate that you become somebody that you aren't, um, because you can't, you just can't fake that.
[00:13:20] Um, for example, I'm not a good Monday through Friday, nine to five person. Like it makes my soul die. I feel the, the air seeping out of the room. Like, if you told me I had to do that for the next 30 years, I would, I'm not sure what I would do, but because it's just not who I am by nature. Um, so I can do it for a little bit.
[00:13:39] And so in thinking as a filmmaker, like, can you do it for a little bit and there's a payoff rate? Um, you could try it. See if it, you know, works for you, but these, there just aren't. rules. That's not how things work. And it's especially not how it works anymore. Like maybe back when you and [00:14:00] I were starting, there were more rules that were hard and fast.
[00:14:02] Like you must read backstage. That's where all the auditions were like, yeah, that's, that was where all the auditions were. Um, but these days. The industry changes so quickly, and sometimes, especially if you're an innovator, none of those rules will apply to you, um, and you'll actually waste your time trying to follow them.
[00:14:23] Yes. I will actually give the example of I tried to write, which I love Hollywood films. I do love a lot of Hollywood films, but I, in the beginning, when I first wrote my first feature screenplay, I tried to write a romantic comedy, a, you know, romantic comedy. Beginning, there's an instigating event and 20 pages and this happens and another 20 pages and that happens, you know, whatever.
[00:14:45] I don't even remember what the freaking rules were because it didn't work for me. It was like the worst thing anybody had ever written on the face of the earth. I actually referenced it in my first feature. It was called Have You Dated This One Yet? I remember that script. Yes, [00:15:00] and I actually referenced it as, uh, the character says I wrote a book called Have You Dated This One Yet?
[00:15:05] It wasn't Very good, you know. And, um, you know, anyway, that doesn't really, but the point is, my point of it all is that I was trying to do what I'm supposed to do and I ended up throwing the whole thing out and, and just turning it all on its head and I made a crazy non linear, uh, multi genre film, which for better or for worse was me, you know, and I think as an artist you put so much time and effort in, you, you really need to be you because if you were If you're not, then, then you're just gonna be so unhappy later, cause it's like I made this thing that doesn't Doesn't even represent who I am and it's probably crap To be honest and in art, what's the point?
[00:15:51] If you're not, art is about expression. Art is about a lot of things. One of those is expression And it's your unique perspective of the world. [00:16:00] Not like if I just make a reproduction of something else I've made a reproduction. I tell this to singers a lot when I work with They'll come to me because they're like, my voice falls flat.
[00:16:09] I'm like, that was me. All the advice was like, beautiful instrument doesn't, it's not unique enough, um, because I didn't know who I was and I couldn't even figure out how to find out who I was. And, um, and nobody had advice for that back then. Um. But I could sound like anybody. So, good studio singer, but a good representation, like I could mimic, but it wasn't unique.
[00:16:36] And so that's, and there's a place for that? Cover bands? I don't know there's a place for that in film, where you just like, is there cover filmmakers? Well, there are filmmakers who make films that are like So and so in the style of the same style, the same writing style. They basically take that script. I mean, my, what it feels like to me is they'll take a script that's been made 40 times and make a 41st one of the same kind [00:17:00] of thing.
[00:17:00] And in art, there's, there's almost no point for that. Um, especially like if you're going to go in business and just replicate something fine, but art is special, especially filmmaking is like, it's really special and it can And if you're just reproducing something, you're probably not going to make the shift and the change in the world that's actually possible.
[00:17:21] And I think that's a big thing that we don't, we're not told, like, if you're not who you are authentically, you're not actually making the change that's supposed to be happening. Let's, let's talk about that a little more, because I know you talk about this a lot, like every job that you, I'm, I'm paraphrasing, you will say it better, but every job you have is your, you could be changing the world with what you're doing through your authenticity or your belief system or how you do it, I don't know, I'm, I'm throwing it out to you.
[00:17:50] Yeah, um, I mean there's different ways to think about work. Some people just hate their work and that's fine. Like, I'm not really here to judge that, but there is a [00:18:00] perspective about work, even if you don't love the work, um, that it can make big change. I was just listening to a story where somebody, it was a customer service story, like she found somebody's luggage, you know, and they were like, oh my god, you have no idea.
[00:18:18] Um, you know, what a difference it made, and it seemed like a really trivial thing, but how we approach work can matter as much, uh, we can make a big shift in the world through our work. To me, work, maybe because I was raised as an artist, and I still am an artist, that to me, work is just an avenue to create change.
[00:18:40] It's just another medium. Painters paint with paint, you know, business paints with paint. money. Um, but you can affect a lot of really positive change through your work and through your self expression, whether you're a filmmaker or you're working at a day job to support your filmmaking, both of those things can make [00:19:00] positive change.
Indie Inclinations with Shari Berman: Bonus - Transcript
[00:00:00] I want to get back to your move to Alaska. This is sort of a separate thing. Um, because I had a few artists talk about why they either have stayed in New York or why they moved to L. A. and Why the, the people that moved to LA specifically that I was talking to, why they were able to be a success. So I wanted to talk to you about that because I know you, you picked up, you moved somewhere, you didn't even have running water where you were living, I believe, or electricity.
[00:00:33] I don't know, you were living in a tent, um, basically. Yeah, and You know, the, just sort of like, how did you eventually become successful in a new place because you didn't go, like, the people that I spoke to went to L. A., they had made connections, they had been flying out there, they had been building a network, and you kind of went with nothing.
[00:00:53] I mean, you know, you had a place to go, right, a job to go to, but, you know, that [00:01:00] was it, and, and you knew the job was going to be rough and you were going to be living, In the wild, so to speak. Um, yeah, not so to speak, actually. We lived in a wilderness area, so. Um, I will say that the, you always need to look at somebody's background.
[00:01:17] Everybody has an amount of privilege that they carry with them. Whether that's money or experience or family or connections. I had a lot of experience in moving. I moved almost every year as a child. So moving was really normal for me. Staying put is What's new for me? Um, and New York, I learned to love New York, um, but I was raised in a more wild place.
[00:01:46] I was raised in Montana, so I missed the grass and trees and I was really struggling. You know, I was like 29, 30, um, and I knew I wasn't happy and I couldn't, I was really just struggling with what I wanted next. Um, [00:02:00] I knew, I was pretty sure I didn't want to be in the music industry anymore. Um, Um, but what I, what I know that you need the base, you need the bare minimum, you, you need money.
[00:02:13] Uh, so I had a job and you need a place to sleep. Um, so I had a place that it was a job with room and housing. We were running a sled dogs up on a glacier and I was running logistics because I had never run sled dogs before. So I was taking the skills that I had before and applying them to somewhere else.
[00:02:34] But there are just, there's so many different ways to move. I also moved to New York with no connections. I, I knew one person to audition for and I was a nanny. So I had a job and a place to live and some sort of support network. I don't know that it's the best way to do it. It's really lonely and it is very hard.
[00:02:55] It's also a clean slate though. So. But from a [00:03:00] filmmaking standpoint, the more connections you have, the better. The more details you have filled in, the better. Um, but it's possible either way. Like, if there's something inside of you, and this is what was happening in New York, everything inside of me said I wanted to move to Alaska.
[00:03:17] There was no internet. I mean, there were, we had a little bit of internet, but nothing like today. Um, I think I was on a listserv, that's, I think that's how I found my job. Um, but you have so many more resources these days of Um, what the place looks like, um, what connections, the more connections you can have, the better.
[00:03:39] But if there's something inside that just says move, trust it. You figure it out. Um, the more pre planning you have, often the easier it is. Like if I had thought to have a car in Alaska, my life would have been a lot simpler. Um, but I was coming from New York, so I didn't think about a car. [00:04:00] But Alaska's huge, so you definitely needed one.
[00:04:03] But you get there and you make it work, just like everything. I think it's just like starting a film, like, you can only plan so much, and then you have to start shooting and just see what happens, and you work with what you've got and you make it work. I think that's, uh, very well said. I think you do work with what you have, and, but, you know, you try to do a little bit of planning and you don't just hitch a ride with a stranger across the road.
[00:04:29] Don't marry them. Um, I will say I plan a lot more now. I was also young into my 20s, um, and it was moving like that was both times was rough. It's the slow way of doing it. If I had to do it again, I probably would have stayed in New York for another year or two, um, built more connections, maybe visited.
[00:04:52] That would have been, you know, a really smart thing to do. I think you were the one that were like, maybe, have you ever been on a dog sled? I'm like, no, I'll love it though. [00:05:00] It'll be my new lifestyle. You're like, go, go try. And you did, you did it, you know, and I think you loved it in so many ways. And you know, there are pros to cons, pros and cons of everything you do.
[00:05:12] Um. You know, it's different now, like you said, right? Like now, maybe somebody can go on a Facebook group. I know somebody who decided they were moving to Colorado and they went online. Who's in Colorado? Who knows somebody in Colorado? I'm an artist. I want to know other artists, even though I'm going into a different thing now, you know, whatever that was for them.
[00:05:32] And, you know, so you go out there and at least you have people to have coffee with, and maybe half of them you won't really click with, but you have a beginning. Yeah, you're right. That wasn't around when you picked up and moved so it is a little bit easier but it's hard no matter what you know it's it's hard to start it's a gamble it just i mean i think a lot of art is a gamble and a lot of life is a gamble you're like well you can you can't plan it to perfection you just can't um [00:06:00] i always want i want to i want to know exactly but at some point you just have to pull the pin and go and see and realize you can't You can't really fail at it.
[00:06:09] The whole failure culture, like, you failed at this, your film failed, your art failed, your business failed. It's just information. Like, that's just part of life. Right. I mean, I always say to people, If you wrote a script and then you got it made somehow and you put it out to the world, you didn't fail. It doesn't matter what people think of it.
[00:06:29] It doesn't even matter if you're like, well, it wasn't exactly what I wanted. You did it, though. You did it. If somebody made a lamp and they plugged it in and it turned on, you would say that's a success. Even if the lamp is gone. Cock eyed and looks funny and, you know, maybe it doesn't balance well. And yeah, it's an ugly color.
[00:06:46] It wasn't what you expected you were gonna make, but you made it. It's still made. Um, and it's its own unique thing. You know, art to me, and I think everything in life really, but especially art. I used to volunteer at a [00:07:00] school, you know, but the pandemic hasn't really been happening, but I was choreographing musicals at a school, and one of the things I was constantly trying to get through when some of the students who were really hard on themselves would make a mistake, they'd be crushed, and I'm like, well, it's boring if you were perfect.
[00:07:16] I mean, I could buy a robot and make it turn around and turn around and turn around and land a certain way every single time, but that's not a human. That's not art. So it is, and that is generally in life, if we were all perfect, we wouldn't, we, I don't know what the hell we'd be. It'd be so boring. It would, and it's, it's a mantra.
[00:07:37] It's a personal mantra. I don't know if I ever talk about it much, but I have this inner idea that It's better to have an interesting life because I'm like, if I get to be really old and somebody gets to take care of me, I should be interesting. I should be fun to talk to. And it's also, I would just rather have a messy, interesting life and have tried.
[00:07:58] my darnedest at things [00:08:00] versus followed all the rules. Every time I try to follow all the traditional rules and do what I'm told, and you know, 1. 52 kids and a white picket fence, that sort of, it's not really, it's not life. Like that's not, I don't think what we're here for. I think we're here to create something interesting and sometimes that's messy.
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I am here to help you navigate through your own personal change process, to see resistance for what it is and to help you move forward in a way that honors where you are, but ultimately also allows you to break through the barriers and into the career you want.
One thing Iâve learned in the last decades of leading myself, teams and clients, is that change, even good change, is challenging. I donât say that to scare you, but to give you some relief. Itâs okay to let yourself off the hook if the challenges of the past have been too great. There are legitimate reasons why you are where you are that aren't because of a moral failing or a flaw in your personality.
So letâs take a look at how this course is laid out. Our time together will be split into three broad sections. Hereâs what our roadmap over the next twelve weeks will look like. In the beginning, we'll focus on who you are and your personal strengths. This is the foundation of your career. In Week One youâll learn how to identify your affective strengths. In Week Two, youâll identify your innate strengths and take an assessment that can help you see them more clearly. In Week Three, youâll catalog your learned strengths and in Week Four, weâll wrap up the first section by putting it all together to identify your core strengths.Â
In the second section, weâll delve into your decision-making process and youâll learn how to make solid, integrated career decisions that support both who you are and what you want. In Week Five, weâll talk about how to adopt a leadership role in your career. In Week Six, youâll learn how to use your innate navigational system to make good decisions. In Week Seven, youâll learn how to know when your instincts are running the show, and in Week Eight youâll learn how to see when your cultural programming is running the show.Â
And finally in the last section, weâll focus on developing your career plan, including your short-term career goals and your long-term vision. In Week Nine, youâll learn how to choose a career path for yourself. In Week Ten, youâll learn how to troubleshoot your career decisions. In Week Eleven, weâll talk about how to commit to your plan, even if commitment has been hard for you in the past, and in Week Twelve youâll learn how to ensure that your career actually becomes a reality.
In addition to our roadmap, I also want to set up some expectations for the course. My job during this time is to encourage you to get into contact and listen to your inner guidance, to offer new perspectives and provide structure, safety and support so you can step into a career that matters to you.
Your job is to be open to possibilities, to challenge your own thoughts and beliefs even when itâs uncomfortable, to honor where you are in the process and to set yourself up for success as best you can.
Because our work together is all about change, itâs likely going to rile up your self-preservation response. And because this work involves a fundamental shift in how you earn your income and how you take care of yourself practically, it may trigger a response from your amygdala, one of the oldest parts of your brain, the part responsible for your physical survival.
Your brain is hardwired to keep you alive. And thatâs a good thing. If we arenât alive, a great career is a moot point. But this focus on survival means your biology prioritizes breathing and your heart beating over your thriving and feeling happy or content in your career. If you arenât aware of the impact of this automatic response, you can end up in survival mode, just eking out an existence, but not achieving your higher goals.
One way your brain keeps you alive is by continually drawing you back to whatâs familiar and resisting whatâs new. Because what is known, feels certain and safe. We instinctively resist the new and unknown because it might pose a threat to our physical survival. It takes a lot of energy, literally a lot of glucose, to determine if something new is safe. And because your brain is incredibly efficient, it may prevent you from taking action on anything it doesnât deem necessary for your immediate survival.Â
If you notice your mind is dismissing or resisting something in this course, itâs worth taking a second look to make sure you arenât just having an instinctive reaction to something thatâs new and unfamiliar. I'm not saying you should take everything I say as gospel. You shouldn't. Iâm simply encouraging you to take a second look at your habits of thought to see if theyâre preventing you from the change you desire.
One way your mind might resist new information is thinking, âI already know this.â If that thought comes up for you, itâs worth considering that if youâre hearing something you âalready knowâ but you arenât actually doing it, there may be a reason you need to hear it again right now.Â
Another automatic defense to new information is âreasonableâ objections or dismissing an idea right off the bat because it doesnât seem practical in the moment. This type of resistance can be really sneaky because it sounds logical and lots of people will agree with you, but your objections may not be based in fact. And being âreasonableâ may just be another way to keep yourself stuck in your current circumstance.Â
Resistance can also sound like âyou don't understand meâ or âmy circumstances are specialâ or âthis doesnât apply to me.â Again, in no way am I discounting what you know to be true for yourself or your lived experience. This is just an invitation to notice any resistance you feel and get curious about it.
When I first started working with clients, I wouldnât even tell them about this potential resistance because I didnât want to create something that wasnât there, but it kept showing up.Â
When I started giving people a heads up that resistance was possible, they actually had better outcomes. They were able to notice it, move through it and they wouldnât get derailed. Now, I think itâs one of the reasons my clients have a high rate of success, not just in figuring out a fulfilling career but in also taking consistent action to make it happen. They know how to work with this part of their mind and not let it stop them.Â
Other ways resistance to change can show up is feeling grumpy, reverting to old coping habits, arguing for your limitations and feeling really angry about the gap between where you are and where you want to be. It's also not uncommon for some people to have a dark night of the soul at some point or for life just to become more chaotic, like you just shook up the snowglobe of your life.Â
You may even notice that you start dropping things, or tripping or start losing things. You might feel more irritable or get into arguments or you may just generally not feel like yourself. This isnât a personal flaw. This is your brain trying to integrate a lot of new information and that takes a lot of energy, energy that has to come from somewhere. And that somewhere is often the ways that we cope with life or hold things together.Â
The good news is that your responses to change will settle down, just like a snowglobe. Again, I'm not forecasting that any of this will happen to you, but I also donât want you to be surprised if it does. And I donât want you to think that you are doing anything wrong, this is just a normal part of any change process.Â
Also know that resistance is not a sign that you should stop moving forward. Itâs simply the part of your brain thatâs focused on survival freaking out because youâre heading into something unknown. Even though this is likely a better unknown, itâs not been proven survivable to this part of your brain; it's still untested, and this part of your brain needs evidence. Learning to navigate this type of temporary discomfort is one of the key skills you need to master if you are truly invested in changing your career.
If you feel the discomfort of change, I want you to take it as a good sign that youâre growing and expanding. Itâs a sign of progress.
One tool to help you navigate all this change with more ease and comfort is learning to soothe and calm your nervous system.Â
The basis of the technique I teach is breathing. I know it might sound clichĂŠ, but thereâs a lot of science to back up the benefits of using the breath to regulate the nervous system. Breathing techniques are not just used by people in self-development. Theyâre also used by Olympians, professional athletes, divers and soldiers.
And there are a multitude of breathing techniques out there if you have one that works with you, thatâs fantastic. Use it. And breathing isnât the only way to get calm. Many things can downregulate your nervous system, like physical activity, rest and music. Â
I teach this breathing pattern because it's easy to remember, itâs free, itâs always with you and it's something you can do in public without anyone knowing what youâre doing.
This is not a religious or spiritual practice. It isnât mindfulness or meditation. This is a simple biological tool to move your nervous system from a sympathetic stateâthat activated fight/flight stateâinto a parasympathetic state. Your rest-and-digest state.Â
In fight/flight or a defensive state, you can react, make decisions out of fear, and you can protect yourself, but you wonât make the wisest, most creative, or most grounded decisions. That requires a calmer state of mind.Â
So weâre going to use the breath to consciously tell our physical body and survival instinct that we are safe. Itâs safe to learn new things, itâs safe to consider new perspectives and most importantly, itâs safe to step into a better career.Â
For this technique, you donât need to be sitting down or even have your eyes closed. You can do it anywhere, even if youâre walking or driving. So letâs go ahead and begin.Â
 Wherever you are, bring your awareness into your physical body. Take a couple of deep breaths. Now go ahead and even out your inhale and your exhale.Â
This doesn't have to be perfect. There are no points for getting your breath exactly even; just make it roughly the same on the inhale and the exhale. The reason we want the inhale and the exhale to be even is because itâs the opposite of what you do when you're in fight/flight. In fight/flight, our breath shortens, gets shallow, and speeds up. To move out of fight/flight weâre going to do the opposite.
During this exercise, your mind may or may not be quiet. And that's not the point of this. Iâm not concerned about what your mind is doing. I just want your exhale to be roughly even with your inhale.Â
Now as your breath becomes roughly even, Iâd like you to elongate your exhale just slightly. It doesn't need to be extreme, just a little bit longer than your inhale. Again, there are no prizes or gold stars for perfection here, weâre just looking for a slightly elongated exhale.Â
This elongated breath pattern sends a silent but physical signal to your brain that you are safe, which allows the release of chemicals that will start shifting your nervous system over into a parasympathetic, rest-and-digest state.
Slowing down your breath is a tool that can start taking effect very quickly. You may even feel the cascade of chemicals shifting your body into a relaxed state. You may not feel anything and thatâs totally okay. The messages youâre sending by slowing down your breath are being sent whether you can feel them or not. And you canât do this wrong. Whatever youâre experiencing is just fine.
Iâm going to hold you here for one minute to practice, but please listen to your body and stick with this pattern only as long as itâs comfortable for you. Youâll hear some music in the background so you know Iâm here and, at the end of one minute, Iâll let you know.Â
You can let that breathing pattern go, and come back into a regular breath.Â
This is an exercise Iâm going to ask you to do every day. It doesnât matter when you do it, it just matters that you do it. Â
It also doesnât need to be a 30-minute or a 5-hour breathing session. In the beginning, weâre just building the habit so I want your commitment to be as small as possible. If your commitment is too big or too fast, youâre more likely to lose motivation or to stop doing it all together. This type of perfectionistic, all-or-nothing behavior is something I want you to start avoiding during this course.Â
Daily consistency and the habit of keeping commitments to yourself is far more important in this practice than how long you spend doing it.
My own commitment to this breathing practice is still just one minute every day even after all these years. Because itâs a commitment small enough that I can keep it, even on my busiest or most challenging days. Over time, my typical daily practice has grown in length, but the commitment is still just one minute a day. Itâs one way I can ensure that Iâm setting myself up for success.
The point of this exercise is to build the physical skill of getting yourself into a calm state quickly and on command. And just like going to the gym, the more you practice, the more likely you are to have it at your fingertips when the stakes are high and you need it most.
To help you, Iâve included a one-minute recording of the breathing exercise for you in the resources for this section.Â
Iâve also added a link to the free timer that I personally use. Itâs not required, but many people find it helpful to track their progress. Youâre also welcome to friend me on that app. And Iâd love to practice with you.Â
Now that youâre in a calm, parasympathetic state, I'd like you to imagine waking up early, just before the sunrise, excited about a cool adventure that starts as soon as youâre ready.Â
How does that anticipation feel in your body? What are your physical sensations?
Now, picture waking up with that same feeling of excitement and anticipation every day when youâre going to work.
How would it affect your morning routine, what you eat, your phone calls, and your mood?
How would being excited to go to work influence interactions with your family and your mental health? Would it change your outlook on the future?Â
This is the opportunity in front of you.
No more waiting for the weekend, no more watching the clock, and no longer needing to escape reality.Â
Now, I can hear my skeptics out there, and Iâm not trying to sell you a pipe dream. I know it can be hard to see how any of this is possible from where you are. I couldnât see the possibilities for myself either at the beginning of my own journey. But I invite you to stick with me. I promise this is not a fairy tale. This is a life thatâs possible for you in the real and practical world.
 As we get started, you need to know three things to find work that matters to you. And if you donât know these yet, thatâs okay. Thatâs why weâre here.Â
You need to know who you are. You need to know how to make decisions that are aligned with who you are, and you need to know what you want.
The trend Iâve noticed is that when people donât know what they want to do for a career, theyâre often not able to express some important information about themselves. See if any of these resonate with you. Can you clearly articulate:
- your preferences and values,
- your inborn talents,
- your learned knowledge and skills,
- your unique set of strengths related to your career,
- and do you know where you can make the biggest impact, with the least amount of effort?
Often, people also need to learn to step into a leadership role in their life. To take the reins and stop following what other people are telling them to do. This requires learning some personal leadership skills such as:
- understanding how to discern what you want
- how to make independent, well-thought-out decisionsÂ
- how to choose the best path forward and
- how to set yourself up to ensure you can achieve your goals.
One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is thinking that theyâll wander around and accidentally bump into the right career or that the right career will just fall in their lap magically, but it doesnât usually work that way. If you just âgo with the flow,â the cultural, systemic âflowâ will lead you toward the type of work a company or industry needs from you. It wonât be focused on you and what you need or want. Often when people adopt the âtake life as it comesâ approach, itâs because they donât know one of the crucial pieces of information they need to purposefully navigate their career path.Â
If any of this resonates with you, know that we are going to go step-by-step so you can clarify what you want, what you are good at and how to make that happen. And if all you know today is that you want a career and a life thatâs better than what you have right now, thatâs enough to get started. That is a direction and everything else, you can learn to do.Â
Now, there is a lot of advice about careers out there, and, while I respect and align with many schools of thought, there are a few perspectives I take that I think are helpful to know going in.
In my practice, I typically see two types of career paths. One specific and one more general.
- The specific has a known job title, say nurse, pilot or veterinarian. These are typically more traditional and well-established career paths. And itâs what most career advice is focused around. It tends to be straightforward with known steps, like what degree you need, what your resume needs to look like and how to rise to the top of that particular industry.Â
- The second type of career path has a broad, overarching vision or mission. Itâs not focused on a specific industry or set of rules but around values you stand for and how you want your work to impact the world.
These career paths are often multi-faceted, creative, or disruptive. Many times the industry or the job doesnât even exist yet, or is radically changing how something is done or itâs creating a completely new product. And because itâs new, there is no blueprint or established path to follow.
And I find traditional career advice to be at best frustrating and at worst counterproductive for this type of career path. Whatâs more useful is to adapt the creative process to the career-finding process.Â
I also see three trends in people searching for a career:Â
- people who know what they want from a very young age
- people who know what they want to do but don't see how it's possible (or have been told itâs not possible or practical), and
- people who have no clue what they want to do.Â
All three types of people can find work that matters to them. One group isnât better than another, and they all have their pros and cons to go with them.Â
One of the other approaches that may be different, is the same difference between a freeway and a trail. I want to explore these two approaches, so letâs play a little bit.Â
First, I want you to imagine driving on a major freeway. What is that experience like?Â
Iâm guessing you have an external navigation system that determines your route and tells you where to go. There are big green signs that tell you how many miles you have left. You can choose your lane, your radio station, your relative speed, but little else.
The freeway is fast, efficient and simple to navigate. Itâs a blueprint; you just check off the miles to your destination. Itâs a standard transportation route with everyone going in the same direction at the same relative speed. And youâre driving the same path that thousands of people before you have driven.
The advantage to the freeway is that the road to your destination has been decided for you. Itâs clear. Itâs well-defined and itâs really simple. You donât need to make many decisions - you just need to follow the rules.Â
The downside is that you have to conform to the rules. You canât deviate easily or go explore something thatâs off road. The scenery is rarely breathtaking, itâs often concrete walls, and, if youâre driving for a long time, it can be boring.
Now, I want you to imagine hiking in a beautiful forest without a map or a GPS. Whatâs this experience like?Â
Notice that the pace is slower than the freeway. Notice how you navigate. Youâre having to use your physical senses, your gut instinct, your hearing and your sense of smell. You look to your surroundings for the small signs that you need to help guide you.Â
Also notice that you have to figure out the route as you go. The route is much less direct, it wanders a bit, and there are many more options available to you.Â
You can walk fast or slow. You can stop and take a break whenever you need to. You can pick a route thatâs relaxing or challenging. You can sleep in a huge tent, or out in the open, or in a cabin. You can choose to have a primitive, ultra light, or super high-tech experience. How you hike is completely up to you. There are only a few hard and fast rules, like gravity and sunrise. Â
The downside to the trail is that the route is much less well-known and itâs often less obvious. There are no bullet-proof instructions, no blueprints, no checkboxes, and you wonât be able to search the internet for every answer. Youâll have to figure things out for yourself. Youâll have to be resourceful and solve problems with what you have on hand. Most of all, there will be many more decisions that you have to make about your journey.Â
Either type of career path is worth taking. It simply depends on who you are and what you want. In this course, Iâll teach you the skills you need to be able to map out your own path, so you have both options available to you.
And if youâve had trouble locking in a freeway-style career or your resume looks like you put it in a blender, you may lean toward the trail version of a career path. You may be creating something new. This style often benefits from taking the overarching vision or mission perspective I spoke about before, where your work fits under the umbrella of a larger goal.Â
If this is you, know that the doubts you have, the feelings of not fitting in, and the failed attempts at following traditional career track advice, donât indicate a problem with you, but with the approach youâve been taking. You may just be on a more non-traditional path and need to use a style borrowed from the more creative and artistic methods of bringing things into the world.Â
Another perspective I take is that your career path is a lifelong journey. This isnât something that you decide one time and the goal isnât to get to your final destination or retirement. The goal is to enjoy your work.Â
A long-term fulfilling career will always be growing, changing, expanding, and making a greater impact. In this course, I wonât direct you toward the one job that's going to be perfect forevermore. Not only is that not typical in the modern economy, it doesnât allow you to grow. I will urge you, however, to define your larger mission.Â
What impact do you want your work to have in the world over your lifetime?Â
Careers like this can take time to unfold. And overnight success is NOT something I believe in. Even if it looks like an overnight success on the surface, realize that you arenât privy to the years of work that preceded that âovernight success.âÂ
Iâll also urge you to stop waiting to be discovered or to be saved from your job, or to win the lottery. Those are just ways your brain keeps you stuck in your current career cycle. Since itâs going to take time to build a great career, why not start planning the next step of that journey right now?
And a note on wanting to quit the job you hate. As unromantic as it sounds, I usually advise people to stay in their current job, unless itâs dangerous for their mental or physical health or unless they have some kind of significant financial cushion. I canât tell you whatâs right for you, but I can tell you that staying in a job in order to pay the bills can be an act of self care.Â
I can also tell you that the process of finding an ideal fit can take time, and the panic of not having an income can hinder your ability to make the change you want more than the stress of staying in your current job. Again, I donât know your circumstances and you have to make that decision for yourself, and weâll talk more about this later in the course.
The last important perspective is the value of focusing on enhancing your strengths rather than fixing your weaknesses. We are biologically wired and culturally conditioned to focus on whatâs wrong. Iâm not saying we shouldnât grow and change, but the mindset that there is something wrong with you that you need to fix throws you off balance right out of the gate. It pulls you out of your sense of confidence and personal power. Focusing on your strengths sets you up on a solid foundation from the beginning.Â
Before I discovered this concept, I took it for granted that I had to âfixâ everything that was wrong with me before I could be successful. I hadnât thought about consciously working to enhance the things that came naturally to me. And it certainly didnât occur to me to choose a profession where my weaknesses were seen as strengths.
And hereâs the reasoning behind this perspective. You can only build and grow on something solid. Your strengths are the foundation of your career. Your career is built on your desires, skills, abilities, values and character. And itâs the reason I take a third of this course to ensure that you can clearly express what your strengths are.Â
The mindset isn't to totally ignore your weaknesses, especially if itâs preventing you from realizing your goal. Sometimes we do need to make sure we have a base level of competence in an area. But if you get lured into spending too much time there, itâs a sign youâre not on the right career path and youâre wasting precious energy you could be using to skyrocket your natural talents.Â
So how do you get around the things that you arenât good at? Sometimes that looks like just doing your best and moving on, sometimes we need to create habits or learn a skill if itâs something we have to do ourselves or do a lot. And sometimes it looks like asking for help or delegating the task.
For example, accounting is definitely not in my natural wheelhouse, even though I grew up in a family of accountants, Iâve taken classes in accounting and Iâve done everything from accounts payable to executive level finance as part of my previous jobs. But no matter how much I practice or study, Iâm probably as good as Iâm ever going to get at it. And truthfully, I donât really like doing it and Iâm not naturally gifted at it. Iâm just competent.Â
But, when I opened my practice I knew accounting was important because I wanted to be ethical and financially solid. But I also knew I wasnât a natural in that area and I shouldnât be spending a lot of energy on it. So, in the beginning, I used automated accounting software, I set a repeating calendar event to remind me to look at my accounts, and I listed out everything I needed to do each month so I didnât have to remember it. All of this was to reduce the amount of time and energy I had to spend on it until I could hire a professional.
And the funny thing is, hiring her just deepened my belief in the power of not just working in your own area of strength, but also hiring people who work in their area of strength.Â
When I hired her, I asked for her Kolbe A, an assessment that measures a person's natural action style, and it showed that she had an inborn talent for creating systems like accounting. But after working with her I realized she had a triple strength. Not only did she have a natural gift, she was educated and experienced in accounting, but most importantly she loved it. Loving the work you do is one of the most potent strengths you can have. And this is what she told me about finding her own career path:
âI was going to school for Healthcare administration, because that's what everyone told my generation to do, because Baby Boomers were a thing (to your point don't follow what "they" say you should do.)
I was also terrified to take my first accounting class because "they" said it was so hard. But when I sat in my first accounting class, I loved it so much. My teacher became my mentor, and I happened upon a job and volunteered to take all the business accounting work (with no real world experience), and knocked it out of the park.
Now, over ten years later, here I am operating a rapidly growing accounting, tax, and cash strategy business and I love all the things, including the occasional headaches. Following what I am passionate about has led me through so many doors that have truly added to my work and my personal happiness.
Frankly, I'd never met anyone who liked accounting much less loved it. And I wrongly thought that because I didnât like it, nobody did. My accountant is a full 180 from any other accountant Iâd ever met or worked with. Iâm the only person I know who adores meeting with their accountant. And, because her energy is so infectious, Iâm doing things I swore I would never do, like time analysis and cost accounting.Â
Itâs awesome to have someone on my team with this natural drive and desire, because I could have easily ignored it and ended up in financial ruin. But instead, she keeps me inspired to keep growing my business and keep it financially sound.Â
All this is to say, if youâre like most people, youâve probably spent most of your life and education focusing on fixing your weaknesses. In this course, weâre going to focus on amplifying where you shine so you can shine even brighter.Â
I also want to take some time to make sure you are clear where Iâm coming from. Knowing the values of the person you're receiving advice from matters and I want you to understand what I stand for.Â
Iâm committed to changing the way we think about work for everyone. I believe fulfilling work shouldnât be for the privileged few; it should be a human right for all people.Â
I believe we all deserve to do the work we find fulfilling, the work that matters to us, the work that matches our innate strengths and fulfills our dreams and desires.Â
For me, all people means all people - all people regardless of size, shape, skin color, sexual orientation, gender, neural ability, religion, socioeconomic or any other identity. I lead a firmly feminist, anti-racist and anti-diet company. I stand for body autonomy and personal autonomy. And I actively work to dismantle all the systems of oppression that I can, including punitive forms of coaching.
What this means for you is that I wonât promote or tolerate discrimination or disparaging of underprivileged or underrepresented communities, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, ableism, xenophobia or any other harmful systems of hierarchy, bias or imagined superiority. This includes behavior from my clients, contractors and suppliers and above all, myself.Â
I am actively learning and working toward a deeper awareness of my own privileges and blind spots and Iâm working to edit my own language and beliefs accordingly. If you think Iâm out of integrity or if you see a blind spot, I want you to tell me so I can educate myself and fix it.
I also live and coach by the concept of âYes, And.â Yes, some circumstances are completely out of our control, and we can still maintain some control over parts of our lives, even if itâs only .1%. Yes, you are part of a greater system that you didnât create, and you can still maintain some degree of dignity, choice and ability to change your circumstances.Â
My personal background includes experiences of violence, bias and abuse that Iâve done the work to heal. These experiences help me bring a sensitivity to my work thatâs rooted in the deep understanding of the impact trauma can have on a personâs ability to achieve their goals, and dream of their future. I know that fulfilling work is irrelevant if your daily experience is traumatic and terrifying.Â
I also know that having a job you hate or suffering through your workday everyday negatively affects everything from your mental health and your confidence, which impacts your performance and earning capacity, to your ability to show up in your relationships, to care for yourself and to contribute positively to the world.Â
I also believe that working in a job you hate isnât simply your failure as an individual. Itâs not about your bad choices, or your ability or your need to work harder; itâs a result of a culture and a mindset that saturates our society. And when I say fulfilling work, I mean fulfilling to you. Work that celebrates and uses your innate talents, aligns with your desires, and provides adequate income and enriches your life.Â
Last, I am not the all-knowing expert on all things you. My role isnât that of an expert or an oracle over your life. YOU know you best. Iâm here to partner with you and share with you what I know. My job is to help you listen to your inner guidance, strengthen your confidence in yourself and cheer you on so you can pursue your dreams.
I also believe that the world is full of untapped talent and that positive change is possible for anyone (including you). I do this work because I know that the more people who are able to have work that matters to them, and work they care about, the faster we can bring about the positive changes that are needed in our world.Â
To wrap up I want to give you six things that will help you get the most out of this course.
- I encourage you to read or listen to the material and then set aside time each day, about 20 minutes, to spend on the exercises.Â
- Make a commitment to listen to the 1-minute breathing exercise every day. It could be while youâre brushing your teeth, or while youâre driving. Anything you can do to establish the habit and train your nervous system to be calm will be beneficial for you and itâll increase the odds youâll be able to make the changes you desire.Â
- Third, use the daily emails. The daily email has a purpose other than just junking up your inbox. It triggers your brain to think about your career. As we talked about earlier, your brain will try to avoid working on this because itâs new and unknown. The daily email helps you keep on track automatically. Even if you don't read it, and you just roll your eyes and delete it, thereâs still some benefit. But if you can, open it, read it (they are short) and take a minute to think about it. Itâs a way to help you speed up your progress without expending a ton of extra energy.Â
- Surround yourself with support. Weâve talked about how challenging real change can be. Itâs one thing to know what to do and itâs another to actually do it.Â
If you donât have real live people around who can support you, use social media and get creative about where you can find support. You can follow people you admire, join groups who will support you, and read about people who have done things you want to do.
- Protect your emerging ideas and dreams right now, because, just like a tiny flame, when itâs very small, it can be blown out really easily. It can take a while for a fire to get big enough to stand on its own. Eventually, your dreams and ideas will also be strong enough to stand on their own and handle feedback. But right now, in the beginning, you need to protect them and give them the oxygen of support and encouragement.
I know that unfortunately, not everyone will be able to support you, but that doesnât mean you have bad ideas. Sometimes, people stomp on your dreams accidentally, and you need to let them know that youâre looking for support and not feedback right now. And sometimes people are just in a bad place in life and you need to avoid the topic with them all together. - If you want to dig deeper into any of the research Iâve mentioned, itâs in the footnotes of the transcript. You can access that by downloading the transcript from wherever youâre listening to this.
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As you start this journey, I want to remind you that you are not broken, nothing is wrong with you, you are not behind, there is a reason you havenât found the career that resonates with you yet. You live in a society that values conformity, a society that doesnât teach you to listen to your inner guidance and trust yourself. I promise you that no matter how lost you feel, how disconnected you are from your own desires, deep down, your dreams are there and I am here to help you discover them.
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Iâll talk to you next time,
Shannon
 Shannon L. Post, Inc.
Social @shannonlpostak
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Links to Resources
Insight Timer - a free timer to help you build your breathing practice.
Link to 1-Minute Breathing Exercise
What People Say
Candice Blacknall, MD
Founder at GABA Inc.
"Your personality is so warm and supportive. It was the perfect environment for me to ask questions and express personal doubts. It was also the perfect way to turn my Kolbe results into actionable changes.
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Megan Wildhood
Published Author & Editor
"You're not a conventional coach/counselor/advisor and that's awesome because traditional, weirdly, has not worked for this erstwhile rule follower.
I cannot speak more highly of your integrity, rye wit, intuitive eye and efficacy in validating the humanness of the struggle to identify one’s work in the world."
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Aspenyarrow
Singer-Songwriter
"I think that, most likely, I would've given up on my dream career had it not been for the work we did."
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